My Interview with CatalinaLoves

CatalinaLoves did an interview series of some of her favorite Stars; including January Seraph, Mina Meow, Mz Berlin, and Satine Phoenix …somehow or another I got included in that list.

The full length interview can be found at Catalinaloves(dot)com. But if myspace decides to nerf that link, here’s the interview for you:

Ms. Nikki Nefarious is my closest friend (literally) of all the cool friends I’m interviewing for my blog. We try to spend time together every week, whether it’s just hanging out or we’re doing a shoot. Her house is the epitome of a happy little household with a kinky little twist. Nikki lives with her husband and best friend (Josh), her submissive (mia, which interestingly means ‘mine’ in Spanish), and their small zoo of cats and dogs. There’s always something cooking and they even have grape Kool-Aid!!

Before meeting her, I remember reading this article about her in Charlotte’s Creative Loafing and instantly fell in puppy love. She and I finally met, I think it was either due to my blog and SocialKink or mutual friends, and discovered that we had some weird cosmic connection. For example, she and I have grown up in the same town (different states) and we both had the same heart surgery (and woke up during surgery because we both have redhead anesthesia syndrome).

She is the 2008 Bondage Awards Bronze Medal Bondage Artist and Top Ten Photographer (yet she’s convinced that she’s not really a good photographer, go figure?!). Aside from her feature in Creative Loafing, her work was also published in Skin Two and Geeks Magazines.

Somewhere in there she also works full-time as the “Tom” of the fetish social networking site, SocialKink, and manages to be my friend and confidant.

1. How old were you when you got into the scene? Did you always know you had an interest in BDSM and fetish? How were you brought into the scene?
I have to say 18, right, that’s the legal age after all. I was into this stuff before I knew it had a name, especially with bondage. Neckties, belts, scarves…those were the tools of choice for me back in the day, though I had years of non-sexual rope bondage under my belt by high school. As far as other aspects of BDSM, they just came naturally. I had a nickname in high school, which was made in jest: Mistress. I don’t know, I guess some people are just born with it.

2. How did you end up being the Tom of Social Kink? Do you enjoy doing the Kink Report?
I started out doing project management for a couple of sites and endeavors, when SocialKink came about the powers-that-be just thought it would be a natural move to have me slide in as webmaster. I do enjoy Kink Report! It’s meant to be a fun interactive way to get education and entertainment to the community on the site. It changes up and we are learning as we go, but really the feedback from the site helps to mold how we do it, so it’s always interesting to hear what people have to say about it.

3. What is your favorite kind of cereal?

I don’t usually do breakfast, but sometimes I love cereal at night. As far as my favorite kind, I’d have to say the fruity sugary kind, especially FrankenBerry mmmmmm

4. Would you shine some light on the dynamic of the relationship between you, your husband, and your girl? Do you have separate relationships with each or is it more of a triad? What is the power dynamic in the triangle?
My husband and I were high school sweethearts. We’ve been together for a dozen years, literally. He and I are equal partners in our relationship. However I am bisexual and I have a need for a D/s relationship, hence mia. mia lives with Josh and I, but she belongs to me and I love her very much. We all live and work together, we have a lot of fun together, and really it’s the family I’ve always wanted.

5. How did you become a *good* photographer? I mean anyone can point and click, but you make art!
Oh! Wow, I don’t know how to respond to that. Art is so subjective,you know. My passion is capturing beauty. My photography “brand,” Altered Aperture, is basically a metaphor for opening up and changing the way you look at things. There’s really not enough beauty in the world sometimes, and damnit I try to find it where ever I can. There’s a gorgeous equation with combining lighting, angles, and passion; and when you focus that all on one subject, magic happens. I don’t really have a technique, I just sort of get a feel for what I’m doing, and then I just shoot from the heart.

6. If you could work with any photographer for the day, who would it be? How about any model?
Steve Diet Goedde. He’s such a nice person anyway and who wouldn’t want to spend a day working with someone you respect and get along with…I take that back, it wouldn’t be “working” but I think that’s the point after all. As far as models go, I’d have to say Kumi, she’s the perfect chameleon and I love the way she expresses a seemingly new and exciting persona in each set I’ve seen.

7. If you were given $10,000 specifically for a vacation with the caveat that you have to spend it all in one weekend, what would you do? It’s not for purchases, not for a new roof, paying the taxes – specifically you have to spend it ALL on your vacation.
Honestly I would hire Kumi, January Seraph, Satine Phoenix, Justine Joli, and Fivestar. I’d rent the studio above Mr S Leather in San Francisco. I’d do bondage shoots all day/weekend until my money ran out.

8. Do you think there is a conflict between being a feminist and a slave in the BDSM scene? If there is a conflict, then how do we resolve the conflict. Can one be a feminist and also be a good sub (giving up much of what feminists cling to as dogma.)
I don’t think there is a conflict at all. In a D/s relationship it is the slave who really has the power in the end. If a woman is self aware enough to know what she wants and what will give her the happy life she deserves, then by all means she should embrace this with pride. Her own power to live her life her way, even if that means giving up her power completely, is her birthright and no one should stand judge to that.

9. What’s your favorite video game?
Guitar Hero for Wii. At first I thought I sucked ass at it, turns out, I’m lefty!

10. How do models find you? How do you find them?
I have no idea how models find me, but they do somehow and they come from all over. I don’t have a website as yet, so maybe they’ve just seen my work out there and were interested in working we me too. I really don’t find models, every person I’ve worked with has come along my path in some random way or another and it just clicked. I must say living in the Bible Belt does give me a bit of limitation as there is a lot of interest coming from the opposite coast. I promise ladies, I’ll get to you somehow ;).

11. What book is on your nightstand right now?
Master Hans’ Daughter, Catch-22, The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove, and The Swiss Family Robinson (I like to read back through the old classics from time to time, they don’t make stories like they used to). Also I get bored easily and I like to read several books at a time, oddly enough it helps keep my focus.

12. Like I asked January – being immersed in sex in so many areas of your life – do you ever just feel “sexed” out? Do you ever take a break from BDSM and just live vanilla?
I feel that I have a happy balance of that aspect of my life. Honestly I’m not as surrounded by sex as one would think, given my occupation. But to me there are so many aspects of sex that it would take quite a bit to grow bored or “sexed out” so to speak. I don’t ever feel the need to break from BDSM to live vanilla because I don’t believe that I live either of those things…I just do what I do when I do what I do. Maybe it’s because I’m Gemini, or maybe it’s because I’m ADD, but I change up enough without giving myself time to grow stale with something ;)

13. When are you going to step from behind the camera and do some modeling again?
Again? I’m not sure if I ever started lol. I fully believe my role is behind the camera, I don’t think I have what it takes to model for anyone. I mean, I’d be curious, but I doubt there’d be much interest. It’d also depend heavily on who would take my photo, you know, I’m far to self-conscious to trust just anyone to make me look good in photos.

14. Do you still work as a dominatrix? How do you screen potential clients? What kinds of scenes interest you most?
I do the occasional scene but I am very, um, picky when it comes to people I will work with. I take all that I do to heart, work included, so if my heart isn’t in it I just can’t do it. Sometimes that’s limiting actually. I have to get to know a person before we work together, to make sure there are common interests. I use sessions as an outlet for myself, as well as an outlet for the client, so if there’s no connection there I just move on to the next. The kinds of scenes that interest me most are ones heavy with mental and physical bondage.

15. What is the weirdest request you’ve heard as a photographer, a rigger, a dominatrix… or all of the above.
Sadly I haven’t had any “weird” requests as a photog or rigger, well at least nothing I could consider weird, though I’d love for this to happen!! As far as Domination scenes, I’ve been requested by a straight male put an ad on Craigslist looking for another man to hook up with…I find that weird because I really had nothing to do with the scene at all, I was just a conduit via an internet personals site lol.

~ by An Amazing Woman on May 16, 2008.

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